can i be any more repulsive?

...why do i always write questions on here?
dont kill me

i dont know what to do with myself

currently listening to:
beating hearts baby-head automatica.

wishful thinking?, always



because i can!

Last thing​ you and your ex talke​d about​?​
goodbye always and forever.... in lamen terms, LATE.

Are you in a good mood?
good mood all day err'day nahm seyin??

Who is the last perso​n you talke​d to on the phone​ for over an hour?
last night with some good friends of mine.

If you were upset​ who is the first​ girl you'​d go to?
lately? my mom probably..
then i'd hit up my fave five.

Do you need to say anyth​ing to someo​ne?​
so where do i start?

Who is the last guy that calle​d you?
hi christopher thanks for driving today

What made you sad today?

Are you avail​able?
not exclusive

Ditch​ed schoo​l to do somet​hing more fun?
stupid story, once.

Do you take compl​iment​s well?
i'll laugh.

Will you be in a relat​ionsh​ip in four month​s?​
ill still be chillin in four months

Do you like to make the first​ move?
keepin it classy always.

Will your next kiss be a mista​ke?​

Whose​ bed did you sleep​ in last night​?​

Who is the last perso​n that kisse​d you?
my five year old sister

Do you mind being​ cold?
i sure do mind, get me a blanket please

Do you trust​ all of your frien​ds?​
what kind of question is this?

Have you held hands​ with anyon​e this past week?
yup fingers locked and everythan

What was the last thing​ you cried​ about​?​

Do you know anyon​e who smoke​s pot?
on occasion,you know better though right?

How are your sibli​ngs?​
theyre both good,working hard and playing hard.

Did the one perso​n who hurt you most in your life apolo​gize?
its too late...pt. II

Do you still​ talk to the perso​n you fell for?
pft. hope youre dandy.

Are you ok with makin​g a fool of yours​elf?​
were all fools honestly

What was the first​ thing​ you did this morni​ng?​
woke up to miranda's call.

Have you ever falle​n in love with someo​ne you didn'​t expec​t?​

Are you happy​ with life at the momen​t?​

Can you hones​tly say that thing​s are runni​ng smoot​hly for you?
it never runs smoothly, some things just make you forget how uncertain the road can be.

Do you curre​ntly miss someo​ne?​

If you could​ move somew​here else would​ you?
right now isnt the best time for me.

Are you bette​r at math or engli​sh?​
equations arent my forte.

How was your day today?

How many peopl​e of the oppos​ite sex do you fully​ trust​?

Are you frien​ds with someo​ne who'​s older​ than you?
everyone is practically older than me haha

Does it bothe​r you when you text someb​ody and they take forev​er to text back?
only when its important.

In the past week have you felt stupi​d?​
im so embarrassed right now..

Do peopl​e ever mista​ke you for being​ a diffe​rent race?
sadly i am not mexican, sorry =/

Do your nails​ alway​s have to be paint​ed?​
no, but i do love getting them done.

Do you have your baby pictu​re in your room?
sure do, come look at 'em

Have you kisse​d anyon​e who is older than you?

How many times​ have you kisse​d the last perso​n you kisse​d?​
havent kept count..boy i am lagginnnnn

Do your paren​ts allow​ you to date?
only if my dad is allowed to kill you bye

Who was the last perso​n of the oppos​ite sex you had a conversation with?
chris while coming home from mirandas house

Who was the last perso​n that texte​d you?
ayo miranda maxwell

What happe​ned at nine am today​?​
talked my parents into letting me go out


too much on my plate

come eat it all up.

i'm such a hassle.
still contemplating..



can someone help me add more hours into a day?

there's never enough time..


Something new, but familiar..

Hello! Wow..I cannot say how much life is a suprise, or how things can change so rapidly just like the weather. These past 5 or 6 months have been really tough and I'm truly thankful to be where I am right now. I've learned so much about myself and learned to appreciate the things that keep you moving in life. I am so relieved that I do not have to sprint to catch up to everyone's walking pace and I'm enjoying life with everything I have. It feels so good to be in charge of myself, my day, and my world. Lately I finally feel like "me"! It is such a crazy feeling, but I really just appreciate it all.
So here is the end to one emotional, tough chapter of my life..I'm so excited for the next...

chelsea jean lopez :)




everydays a party hahah



Please stop picking me apart, i'm having trouble putting myself back together.


everyday is a routine..
sleep,wake up for school, get ready,be at school, leave school, eat,homework,sleep.. again and again.
i cant wait for this weekend, i want to hang out with my friends since i barely get to do that, and i want to start drivers ed because im the only junior without their license.






getting better

manong lloyd and tisha
my new favorite picture

i love my parents :)
things feel good.


odwalla orange juice

things change, people change, you change, but sometimes it's for the better, hopefully not for the worse, or it might just be a piece waiting to fall into place.


i am so stubborn

i hate asking for help..especially when i need it.

here's to anyone who reads : help me please.


here it is

5 things to FIVE people I can't say this to; no names included!:

1) We really have grown apart.. We're both trying to explore in different directions and just trying to find ourselves, to learn more about ourselves and hopefully grow into 'good people'. But lately, i've bit my tongue at the rude remarks you make, your lack of manners..that are so unlike you and all i can do is whine about your decreasing consideration. I don't know if I can talk to you about this because im afraid you just wouldnt want to talk to me. I miss you alot, and im sad that i dont know how things are going.. but at the same time i feel unwanted and avoided from you. In everything included, i just feel forgotten. Be thoughtful?

2) We don't always get along, and constantly we tend to get each other annoyed. Your stress really puts stress on me too.. I feel like im always the one who hears your problems and you never take the time to ask me mine. You always make me feel guilty or stupid in any conversation i try to have with you.. but i can never stay mad at you for long because i know how much you love and care for me. I wish you understood that when you put me down you cant expect me to not get upset for it.. I dont like how you jump to conclusions and never take the time to listen. I learn so much good and..not so good things from you, ive developed characteristics like the ones i was talking about and it has only brought me further from relationships.

3) I dont know much to say about you and me. We both let our ends loose. I miss you and i wish we had that same relationship. I only wish that i had the same relationship you now share with somebody else.

4) I look up to you, and I miss just hanging out with you. I know you have your friends and 'your' life.. but i really miss when you wanted to hang with me too. You look out for me, and i look out for you. Youre so busy that you and I havent had a real talk in awhile. I understand you are in a point of your life where you are just making the best of it. But it would be cool if you took the time to think about us. I know we fight alot, but i love you alot. You were my bestfriend and the only one who really expericenced the bad and good with me. Miss you..

5) You don't really know me. I wish we had that bond everyone else seems to have. I know you love me but you never really take the time to know me. I wonder if you know what i think about life. I never saw much of you when i was little but i always knew how much i loved you, and how i looked forward to seeing you every chance i had. We both share that sense of humor, and about a certain someone but thats about it. I have so much to tell you but that's just not your personality. I hope that changes..


i prayed really hard a few nights ago.. i cried alot too. I really miss how i use to feel.. like i was capable of anything. But since ive been sick for the past a little over 3 months ive done nothing but be negative. Ive done so many tests and still havent found out what's wrong. I truly believe in God, and Im going to start being positive. I just need someone to talk to, i just wish i knew that someone.


i miss this baby!



i woke up at 7:48 am to get ready for my 9:00 am neurologist appt-
i had an emg, and an ncv test done. blah, my doctor was filipino..big suprise at kaiser panorama.. anyway, my first test they put these nerve sticker things and shocked me at different volts and that didn't hurt really.. and then the next test was to see how my muscle was working, i got poked with a needle in several places in my muscle on both arms and legs.. it kind of hurt =/ but yeah. im at my cousins house and kinda gave up on keeping my cousin from france well entertained.. bc i dont drive, im too tired to hold a conversation and ugh im just a little stressed..only if i drove.. haha or had a good amt. of $$ , whatever though.



i fainted for the first time yesterday..
im excited and currently at tisha's :)
& annnnnnnnnnnnyTHAAAAAAN
wiiiiiiiiiid annnnnnnnnyonnnne!
serious..im so excited for summer school too..

im real sore..
& i have alot of things to say.
SOMEONE CALL ME, so i can vent. ha, ill listen too ;P



im really sorry, really, really sorry..
i want to tell you that i didnt mean for what i did.
i just don't know how to tell you yet

ugh sorry im such a drag.

sometimes I'd like to think if i fell deep enough in sleep, i could be happier, to escape through dreams, or to wake up to paradise.
but in reality i never fall that deep, and i am slightly still awake thinking of how to solve problems..and with every worry i have just blocks out the idea of leaving the worries for when im awake.


what ive really been doing..

What I've been doing..

daslkfj, well here's another cliche "THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON".. ugh, i wanted it so bad. lately ive felt two extremities going on and off, unhappiness and satisfaction.. life has been so much better than before.. but whenever its going real well, something happens. i hate that word-"happening" what a stupid word..by definition it isn't considered a unfortunate word..but lately, IM TIRED OF FIGURING OUT WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN, THOUGHT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN, WANTED TO HAPPEN..but DIDNT HAPPEN. my brain is a complete mess, it is so hard to keep up and going with some things..hopefully ill learn to jump the next bandwagon, and get the ball rolling again. I also hate being sad..and i really dont like having regrets..seriously enough with that "i have no regrets" ack,serious though, tell me if regrets weren't inevitable and life was a four piece puzzle you would still "live life with no regrets" ugh, so lame. i guess i thought i was on and off happy but after thinking, and starting to write this, ive come to realize. im sad and so angry. im done


move me to glendale!

this weekend.. was literally just way too much fun.
hahah i love my cousins!
well, we went to watch iron man, i paraded down some street in glendale with heels, met some new people, haha laughed like so much that my voice is almost gone, went to americana again, talked to random people, lmao.
AAHHH I LOVE MY COUSINS, haha i cant wait till next weekend! i miss them so much!
ha, and uhh, seriously, there was like so much more to everything, AND I HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW! lame =/
but yeah, basically, i wouldnt mine hanging out there all the time, LOL.
ook, bye =)

ill post pictures upp later.

&p.s. joey diamond came out officially...
still love him for this though,


love everyone.<3



friday was crazy, but im not even gonna worry about it.. ITS THE WEEKEND!
i love weekends..seriously, i love the weekends that are most care-free..and now, FINALLY i have one of those weekends! i havent had one like these in awhile.. and i might be stuffing my mouth full right now hence its only saturday. haha, theres still tomorrow.. wee! haha its such a ride right now, im happy righ tnow and it feeels reeallly gooood. anyways, i really appreciate god a lot more now as well, tishas confirmation the other day really opened up my mind. and it was a plus seeing people haha /;) but yeah as of now, im chiilllin. im just thankful im not pulling my hair out. haha, or having another 7 day week of work. ok well im gonna stop now, haha so gooooodnight
other things:
--KASSIE! YOU DID SO WELL ON YOUR DANCE SHOW TONIGHT AT HART HIGH! I LOVE YOU LITTLE SISTER, HHAH you really are my hero, and im so happy and sad at the same time that you are capable of doing everything and anything. <3
ksfhjs !
ill write more later, haha and hopefully i will get the chance too, school has been crazy so i havent posted in awhile.. but enjoy this post.!
ill be posting up pictures within the last week too




how do you talk to someone you havent talked to in awhile? especially when everything was left on bad terms? How do you make this good again?.. Regret sucks.. Ugh, sorry to myself for not handling this better. I dont even know where to start.. ugh. gaaaah.. i just want things to be okay, and for you not have resentment towards me, or me to have any closed off feelings. im sorry, i never gave you the chance to know me anyways..you don't even know me, just what i thought i was.




bye world


view pictures


:) my guest pw is chels21