im really sorry, really, really sorry..
i want to tell you that i didnt mean for what i did.
i just don't know how to tell you yet

ugh sorry im such a drag.

sometimes I'd like to think if i fell deep enough in sleep, i could be happier, to escape through dreams, or to wake up to paradise.
but in reality i never fall that deep, and i am slightly still awake thinking of how to solve problems..and with every worry i have just blocks out the idea of leaving the worries for when im awake.


what ive really been doing..

What I've been doing..

daslkfj, well here's another cliche "THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON".. ugh, i wanted it so bad. lately ive felt two extremities going on and off, unhappiness and satisfaction.. life has been so much better than before.. but whenever its going real well, something happens. i hate that word-"happening" what a stupid word..by definition it isn't considered a unfortunate word..but lately, IM TIRED OF FIGURING OUT WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN, THOUGHT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN, WANTED TO HAPPEN..but DIDNT HAPPEN. my brain is a complete mess, it is so hard to keep up and going with some things..hopefully ill learn to jump the next bandwagon, and get the ball rolling again. I also hate being sad..and i really dont like having regrets..seriously enough with that "i have no regrets" ack,serious though, tell me if regrets weren't inevitable and life was a four piece puzzle you would still "live life with no regrets" ugh, so lame. i guess i thought i was on and off happy but after thinking, and starting to write this, ive come to realize. im sad and so angry. im done


move me to glendale!

this weekend.. was literally just way too much fun.
hahah i love my cousins!
well, we went to watch iron man, i paraded down some street in glendale with heels, met some new people, haha laughed like so much that my voice is almost gone, went to americana again, talked to random people, lmao.
AAHHH I LOVE MY COUSINS, haha i cant wait till next weekend! i miss them so much!
ha, and uhh, seriously, there was like so much more to everything, AND I HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW! lame =/
but yeah, basically, i wouldnt mine hanging out there all the time, LOL.
ook, bye =)

ill post pictures upp later.

&p.s. joey diamond came out officially...
still love him for this though,


love everyone.<3



friday was crazy, but im not even gonna worry about it.. ITS THE WEEKEND!
i love weekends..seriously, i love the weekends that are most care-free..and now, FINALLY i have one of those weekends! i havent had one like these in awhile.. and i might be stuffing my mouth full right now hence its only saturday. haha, theres still tomorrow.. wee! haha its such a ride right now, im happy righ tnow and it feeels reeallly gooood. anyways, i really appreciate god a lot more now as well, tishas confirmation the other day really opened up my mind. and it was a plus seeing people haha /;) but yeah as of now, im chiilllin. im just thankful im not pulling my hair out. haha, or having another 7 day week of work. ok well im gonna stop now, haha so gooooodnight
other things:
--KASSIE! YOU DID SO WELL ON YOUR DANCE SHOW TONIGHT AT HART HIGH! I LOVE YOU LITTLE SISTER, HHAH you really are my hero, and im so happy and sad at the same time that you are capable of doing everything and anything. <3
ksfhjs !
ill write more later, haha and hopefully i will get the chance too, school has been crazy so i havent posted in awhile.. but enjoy this post.!
ill be posting up pictures within the last week too